Wednesday, 22 June 2016

Healing, Processing and Dreaming Time

Hello dear blogging friends,

I've been absent from Blogland for a while (since April!), processing big emotions from past events, and working out how to move on and grow.

It's affected my health, but I am getting support from many directions, and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. This hitting rock bottom has opened up the possibility of huge personal transformation, which takes time and inner work. 

The usual activities of my life have been shelved while emergency healing, reading, writing and talking have been the focus of the last few weeks. The warm cosy comfort of purring cats has helped me to come back to my feelings, which have been frozen for many years, taking much energy to remain incarcerated safely within.





Both of our cats are from the RSPCA, abandoned as kittens. The large grey cat is Willow, who was malnourished and terrified when we got her, a 4 week old bedraggled and skinny, shaking kitten. She didn't purr for a week, and I just held her in my jumper every day. She remains very traumatised - afraid to go outside, afraid to even go through a doorway to another room without pausing and fearfully running through.

http://lace-age-girl.blogspot.com.au/2016/06/babylove-simply-neutrals-26_22.html

They are family to each other now, and a special part of our family.

Both cats are a metaphor for me to learn from! Willow who carries her fear with her all the time, holding her back from life, and Gypsy who is well-adapted despite her early trauma. She was part of a litter dumped too young to be separated from their mother, and left in the rain to die.  

Like the cats, some people are more affected by their negative experiences, while others are more resilient. But unlike Willow, who might never learn to be brave and bold, people can make decisions and changes in their thinking patterns to grow more resilient. That's what I'm doing!

One of the best things that has come out of this experience is how books have come into my hand just at the right time. I have picked up many an interesting book at a garage sale, thinking, "I wonder if this book has something to say to me..." and brought them home to add to the pile of possibilities by my comfy chair for a spare moment. The pile at my chair ebbs and flows as I read them, put away or pass on those I've read, or decide it's not time yet for others, so into the cupboard they go for a while. 

And so I stumbled on these...




What a wonderful coincidence that my daughter's primary school is the first school in Australia to include a mindfulness course as part of its curriculum, and I attended a recent information night on it.

Subsequently I bought this book and CD which comes from rigorous research through the Oxford University. I'm into my third week of the course, and it's transformational. I'm feeling like the Ice Queen, melting into Spring (even though it's Winter here!).





The forest near our home has been a source of grounding, peace and inspiration to my process. Every day I spend some time there.

I'd like to take you on part of my walk and let you, too, hear and see the beauty of an Australian dry sclerophyll forest.

From our back gate I cross the bridge we made from fallen trees. There's rarely water here, only just after rain.


Forest walk by http://lace-age-girl.blogspot.com.au/2016/06/babylove-simply-neutrals-26_22.html

The tracks wind up to the ridge, some fire trails, some foot-worn paths.

Forest walk by http://lace-age-girl.blogspot.com.au/2016/06/babylove-simply-neutrals-26_22.html

The spotty gums are white after their old bark drops off. The ironbarks and spotty gums are over 30m tall...


Forest walk by http://lace-age-girl.blogspot.com.au/2016/06/babylove-simply-neutrals-26_22.html


Dry schlerophyll forest walk


Forest walk by http://lace-age-girl.blogspot.com.au/2016/06/babylove-simply-neutrals-26_22.html


Forest walk by http://lace-age-girl.blogspot.com.au/2016/06/babylove-simply-neutrals-26_22.html




dry schlerophyll forest


Forest walk by http://lace-age-girl.blogspot.com.au/2016/06/babylove-simply-neutrals-26_22.html


The bird calls are amazing here... have a listen to a recording done on my smartphone:





I have discovered a superb lyrebird here, and I've been following him to watch and listen. I'll have some videos of him soon for you in another blogpost.

So until then, enjoy each moment as much as you can...

Jesse






12 comments:

  1. Oh Jesse, you have had a hard time, my friend. I don`t know what all have caused this ,but I know how it is ,hitting the dark ,and how difficult it can be returning to light, and a better daily life, again.
    So welcome back to here, I`m happy for you, you feel on much safer, and open road, listening to your inner feelings, and trying to live them out.
    Your wood is a magical place, which surely can help opening up a "frozen" soul, I`m so glad you have it close, for you to enjoy nature, and silence there.
    I`m glad to see you back, and wishes you all the best.
    Hugs Dorthe

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, dear Dorthe. Yes, I am truly blessed to have this forest so near, and even to see it from my creative space, and to hear the birdsong all around us. I love it. Thank you for your good wishes. A big hug to you, too :)
      Jesse

      Delete
  2. Hello Jesse,]
    Im sorry to hear that you've had such a difficult time but am happy for you that you have understood some of your feelings and are beginning to work through and find some wholeness..

    Your sweet kitties are pretty and I understand how they offer such comfort and companionship. The woods there are lovely and the birdsong that you shared is beautiful and paints a picture of serenity. I hope that you find your way to a place where you feel at peace.

    Hugs, Prayers and wishes for summer to continue to flood your soul.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Tamara, Thank you for your good wishes. I am finding a place of peace deep within, every day now, and it is so healing. The still point in a turning, hurting world. It is so good to be 'waking up' to life.
      Love and hugs,
      Jesse

      Delete
  3. I am so sorry you have had some deep and troubling issues to face. I just love the photos of your cats. Those of us with cats know how comforting they are when we are not in good health.Their purring, soft little bodies are so lovely.Your kitties are in Heaven with you being quieter and wanting to share your lap!! I can feel my heart rate slowing, and contentment returning as I stroke our cat's fur. I love the sorts of books you are reading.When I was teaching, and if there was a School Counsellor, they'd have almost the same books as I had!
    Take care and know that I have( and others) missed you visiting our blogs.I love your nature walk photos.How wonderful to live in such an environment.
    Kind regards
    Judy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello Dear Judy, Thank you for your lovely comments. You are right, it's about slowing the heart rate, breaking those 'fight/flight' reactions in our body. I am finding it's so much more tiring holding it all inside than it is to let go the load and start to actually process and deal with these huge emotions I have been running away from.
      It is so lovely to have positive messages from friends and from wise books to help us through when times are tough.
      A hug to you,
      Jesse

      Delete
  4. Dear Jesse
    I am so glad that you are receiving some help from your mindfulness course and nurturing from your cats and those around you who love you. I am sure in time you will be back on your feet creating and filling your heart and soul with just what you need to go forward. Time really does heal so it is great that you are taking this time out for that now.
    Stay in touch and know I am here if you need anything!
    Love and warm hugs,
    Suzy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Suzy for your sweet words. I do hope to be able to visit you soon in your new place, and enjoy your company again.
      Big hug,
      Jesse

      Delete
  5. Hello sweet friend, thank you for opening your heart to us, I know this needs courage and faith. I'm so sorry you have to go through this all, but I do hope it will be a nourishing journey to your beautiful inner self. We are here for you if you need our listening ears and embracing arms. (Either on your blog or on email, whatever feels right to you.) The woods behind your home indeed is a magical place, like dear Dorthe said. Thank you for sharing this soothing place with us, your beautiful photos and the wonderful birdsong! I truly felt like walking the path there with you, feeling the peacefulness nature can give us. Sending you big big hugs and well wishes, xx love, Wen

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Wen, Thank you so much for your lovely comment and offering your time to listen. I do so appreciate my blogging friends and their honesty and good wishes. I wish you could go for a walk here with me, too, but sharing all the things we love and create is good for the soul, too.
      Love and hugs,
      Jesse

      Delete
  6. Hello Jesse,
    I am sorry you have been going thru a bad time. I think it may be a cloud hanging over a lot of us. :( I am grateful you shared the books that you did (I am going to need to check them out) and hope they are helping you deal with the "crap" the world and life brings to us. I have learned from my stroke (and the doctors) that I need to avoid this as much as possible and really so does anyone. We cannot always control what comes our way and what we are thrown, but we need to take care and love ourselves first. A very foreign concept to me, and I am work on it each day. AS of late, I have a plate so full of other peoples problems that my doctors would ship me off to a deserted island if they knew. I try each day to find some time for art, to try and destress. I am sending big hugs your way and hope this finds you having a good day! xoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Nancy,
      Thanks for your warm comments. I would recommend the Mindfulness book above all - it has made such a difference for me, the best $20 I've spent. It just takes time to do it every day, but that's all you need to start feeling better. I am really noticing more of the special things in my life, and learning to let go of the crappy stuff. There are so many good life lessons in the book - like finding 10 things each day to be grateful for, and learning to approach or just accept negative feelings rather than run away in fear and bottle them up. You are so right, we need to learn to accept and look after ourselves, so we can then understand and care for others.
      Here's a link to the book:
      http://www.bookdepository.com/Mindfulness-J-Mark-G-Williams-Dr-Danny-Penman/9780749953089?ref=grid-view
      You can try out free meditations here:
      http://franticworld.com/huffington/

      I love the kindness of the book - even the meditation voice is kind - it is very nurturing.
      Big hugs back to you, too.
      Love,
      Jesse

      Delete

Thank you so much for your friendly comments. It makes my day to have a response to my artworks.